For many people, the new year is a time of reflection and the making of resolutions. For me, with an early January birthday, I have double the anxiety about what I’m doing with my life. This year I joined the thirties club, and in less than six months I’ll lose my job. But all that strangely adds up to an unusual feeling of joy and excitement.

No doubt, in part, this is a hangover from myriad gestures of kindness and expressions of love on my birthday weekend – who wouldn’t feel good after that? In the lead up to the celebrations, I asked close friends and family to play desert island discs with me, finding it was all but a game. The fantastic selections can be found at 30rpm.wordpress.com and I’m especially grateful for such generosity and spirit.

I’m also really enjoying thinking about what sort of work I want to be doing and making – enforced reflection isn’t always comfortable, but it is ultimately rewarding. I’m a little way off announcing what I’ll be moving into come the summer, but watch this space. In the meantime, want to see something inspiring? Of course you do. Check out http://anafternoonwith.com/ Wowser.

 

 

In the face of the ‘perceived’ threat that digital provides to the publishing industry, you’ll find the internet awash with articles praising the physical and enduring quality of the book – a quality that many people claim to mean that the book will never die. I love books (and am loathe to preface the word book with the word physical) – but I’ve recently discovered that there’s more to this love than the sheer pleasure of handling an object so well designed and intellectually/emotionally loaded. It’s also about exchange, passing things on, handling and then handing over.

I’m a great hoarder of books, and can’t imagine living in a house that doesn’t have a bookshelf on every available wall (aren’t windows and radiators a nuisance?). Conversely, I’m not precious about possessing individual books – perhaps because the home collection has reached a certain critical mass (over 2500 at last count), I seem to be obsessed with recommending books to friends, posting books to people that I think will enjoy them and generally relishing the idea that the books are being read – which is ultimately what they are for (rather than insulating my house). In the main, though, the books I am given tend to be brand new, and I realise that I’m really quite into the physical traces readers leave on books. There’s also the obvious (and sometime problematic) statement of ‘I think you will appreciate this’ from a reader who is passing on something that they are ‘judging from the inside’. Though I haven’t always agreed with the opinion of such a giver, I’ve rather enjoyed the ensuing conversation about the books various merits, and the points where our thoughts diverge.

This desire for bookish conversation (and, yes, argument) was the driving force behind the recent booker club that I tried to co-ordinate to read books from the longlist (and perhaps make wagers…) Unfortunately, the club didn’t quite gather the head of steam I had hoped for, and one of our number selected one book to read that he absolutely loathed. Yet, it didn’t, in the end. feel like a disaster, because of what happened when the same friend handed the book on to me so that I could finish it…

So, without further ado, here are the best bits from that book, which shall remain nameless (caution: may, nonetheless, contain spoilers).

I hope you enjoyed them as much as I did!

I watched The Review Show last night on iPlayer – a Booker shortlist special. Naturally, I found myself disagreeing with more than I agreed with! So ahead of tonight's announcement, and having recently finished the last of the shortlist, here are my thoughts.

THE SENSE OF AN ENDING – JULIAN BARNES (4)
A slight, intense and dare I say 'philosophical' book, in which the bumbling and dull narrator transcends himself to deliver compelling provocations about the fallibility of memory, the disappointment of ageing and the impossibility of fixing experience. It's clever, but not convincing that the thoughts come from the narrator. Well written, very 'readable' and not at all a chore, but lacking in the heart that makes a great book.

JAMRACH'S MENAGERIE – CAROL BIRCH (4)
What begins as a joyful tale of youth in the late nineteenth century, and work in a menagerie (a zoo-come-pet shop) turns into a harrowing tale of shipwreck and cannibalism. Part One was a pleasure to read, part two was difficult to stomach and rather arduous territory and in part three I could barely read for tears. Emotive and almost unbearably sad, it's a surprising book, but one that somehow seems to be trying too hard to tug on the heart strings.

THE SISTERS BROTHERS – PATRICK DEWITT (5)
A compelling, funny and wholly original book that I can't wait to read again. It's an unconventional western about the relationship between the Sisters Brothers and their response to their immoral profession. Gripping, fast-paced, readable and re-readable, I'd be thrilled if this book won the prize, and will be recommending it to all my friends!

HALF BLOOD BLUES – ESI EDUGYAN (3.5)
A book that flips between 1992 Berlin, and Berlin/Paris at the start of world war two – this is a tale about a group of jazz musicians, and the impact that the political situation and the ensuing conflict has on the friendships and the music-making. I found the 1992 story, when the musicians have reached a ripe old age and are confronting their demons, beautiful, poignant and compelling, but got lost in the conflict and the confinement. Slightly jarring narrative voice.

PIGEON ENGLISH – STEPHEN KELMAN (3.5)
The narrator's voice in this book is full of joy and a total pleasure to read. Harri is 11 and is getting to grips with a new country and a new way of life, with an insatiable appetite for adventure and experience. There's a strange thread through the book that involves a pigeon, which ultimately fails to protect Harri (if indeed the pigeon is the guardian he seems to be). The energy of the plot is exciting, but I found myself holding back from falling in love with the character.  

SNOWDROPS – A. D. MILLER (2)
I was surprised this made it to the short-list. Its strength lies in its depiction of the seedy world of criminality in Moscow, but the city is the most well drawn character. The narrator seems to lack self-awareness, though he is ostensibly writing to confess all to his fiance. The book is set-up as a mystery that goes nowhere, and describes a legal deal that is obviously doomed to failure. Crude and dissatisfying, with writing that only sparkles when Moscow is the subject.

So, The Sisters Brothers is my clear favourite, but even if it isn't recognised, I'm delighted to have come across it!

HINTERLAND: EDINBURGH FRINGE 2011

It’s for posterity that I write this account, knowing full well that my experience can’t simply be captured in words, even though words were a fundamental part of it.

Emails from Alex Fleetwood and Sarah Ellis piqued my interest in this thing called the Hinterland. I put the Forest Fringe cafe on my map of venues for Day One in Edinburgh. On arrival, I received a book of instructions, a small thank you card, and an invitation to make a model for myself to place in a stage-set representing the Hinterland. The craft table, full of fluff, glitter, paint and unadorned thumb-sized figures, could have been a major distraction from my other Day One activities, but I found a dapper model, in silver trousers and a yellow jacket, that seemed to have been discarded. I adopted him, gave him a bright afro and a red gem befitting his sartorial sparkle. I positioned him on steps in the midst of hundreds of other models, and set off into the Hinterland myself.

CANTO 1

My first task was to converse with a French-speaking stranger – not impossible, as only hours before I had been served lunch by a Frenchman. I planned to return for  petit dejeuner and in the meantime put my OU French to the test by attempting to read the questions printed in French. I was out of my depth!

My plan changed when I returned to halls (camp for the duration). My side-kick, who I’ll henceforth call Penfold, returned to our room after filling water bottles and said that he thought the people in the kitchen were French. With a good deal of encouragement – almost falling at the first hurdle – I took my instruction booklet and thank you card into the kitchen. Sure enough, the four youngsters were French, and they agreed to help me with my first mission. So far so good. I stood by the table as they began to read the questions, and with sinking spirits, I realised that they were more intent on conversing between themselves than with me – yet I was too timid to do anything about it. Not exactly in the spirit of the game, I thought, but neither a total failure. I called my answers in, exercising my best French pronunciation with my accomplices names. That night, my four young acquaintances proceeded to get very drunk, and my sleep was punctuated with noises of frivolity, and yes, illness!

I was outside the Fruitmarket gallery when I got the text from the operator informing me of the fresh pressing of Canto 1. Penfold and I listened in together (for the discovery was his as much as mine), on speaker phone, on the road, and laughed about the cocktail called the toilet, and at our own foolishness thinking that our electronic confidant was saying ‘And Sophie’, when in fact it was telling us about ‘Anne-Sophie’. I was instructed to return to Forest Cafe for Canto 2.

CANTO 2

At Forest Cafe, I was congratulated on completion of Canto 1, and invited to move my avatar into the second, much less densely populated stage-set. The instruction this time didn’t pose a language barrier, and yet seemed to me to be much more challenging. I had to find an American actor, who this time would be required to talk to the operator. I tweeted my desire to meet and American actor in Ediinburgh, though without result. I remembered that one of the shows I was going to see (as recommended by a friend who was leaving me a breadcrumb trail around the city) was a two-hander between two Americans. I headed to the Vaults to see if I could coax one of the performers into a meeting, only to find that they were both stricken with illness and the rest of their run had been cancelled.

I was back to the drawing board, and decided to allow myself to be distracted for a time. Penfold and I were joined by family, who I’ll henceforth refer to as the hamsters, and I told them of my plight. We were too large a group (that incidentally contained an agoraphobic epileptic) to easily traverse the busy streets and venues, so we carved an alternative path through the city. However, on running an errand, I had to dash along the Royal Mile alone. I was flyered constantly and was mid stride when my ears caught up with me: did I hear ‘all texan improv’ back there? I retraced my steps and started up a conversation with a charming young woman from Texas who was a very willing accomplice. I agreed to come and see her show as a thank you for her help. I dialled in the answers that we had agreed on and then passed over the phone when instructed – my accomplice looked me up and down and said ‘student’ and then ‘sassy’ to two unknown questions!

It was the first time I had ever seen any improvisation, and coupled with the torrential downpour that had lasted for the length of our walk to the venue, it made for a very interesting and unusual hour of theatre. I got the text from the operator whilst I was sitting in a caustic pub with the hamsters (an act of hunger-induced desperation). We three listened on loudspeaker to an advert for a film in which I couldn’t even play myself – the tone matched our insalubrious surroundings perfectly and my laughter this time was tempered with a sneaking suspicion that the joke was on me. I was again instructed to return to the Forest Cafe.

CANTO 3

The applause that greeted my third visit to Forest Cafe assuaged my creeping fears. It was the final day that the Hinterland was open – yet I was assured that it was not impossible to get to the inner circle, even now. I determined that the Hinterland would be my sole pursuit for the rest of the day. This time, a short cut seemed even more impossible – I couldn’t read the Korean script, and nor did I believe that there was a single defining feature of a Korean speaker. So I turned to Google and once again to Twitter. Edinburgh has a well regarded Korean restaurant, so Penfold and I took the hamsters to the station for their onward journey and then headed north of Prince street.

At the restaurant,which at first seemed deserted (middle of the afternoon), I came across one of the chefs – I started to explain my quest, but he waved me further into the restaurant. I looked around for waiting staff, but my options were limited to two different pairs of diners. I took a deep breath and approached the pair on the left, asking if they spoke Korean. They answered that they did not, but the second couple overheard and volunteered that they were Korean. They were so interested in the booklet that they immediately broke-off eating and started poring over the booklet. A waiter found me whilst they were reading, and asked if he should set a place for me. I declined, and on leaving the restaurant, with answers in tow, I was rebuked for entering the restaurant and surveying the diners without permission. I would certainly have felt much more worse had it not been for the genuine friendliness and interest expressed by my two new accomplices. Once again there was a moment when the strangers sat back to appraise me – an experience I found embarrassing, but bore with good humour, as my question-answerers were good humoured.

CANTO 4

I didn’t wait for my text from the operator this time – I was on a mission, and so headed straight back to base. When at last I reached the road that the Forest Cafe sits on, a young boy with a shock of white blond hair streaked past me – and I could have sworn he was clutching a green booklet, like me. Sure enough, he and his mother were also racing for the finish, and after moving our models into the green space of stage-set four, we set out together to find the top of Calton Hill. Our gracious guides indulged my desire for ice-cream by stopping at a street vendor of the ‘best gelato in Edinburgh’. We slurped our way over the bridge and up the hill, and I was relieved to find that Calton Hill was the smaller of the two peaks that tower over Edinburgh.

Atop the hill, we marvelled at the view, before heading our separate ways to find amenable strangers, who this time qualified simply by being in the same lofty space. I walked around for a little while until I found a couple sat on a bench, calmly surveying the land below. We past a lovely quarter hour talking about the city, the reason for their visit, where they were from (incidentally, within twenty miles of where I was born) and about their excitement about witnessing the tattoo that evening. They insisted that I take a look around the other side of the hill, to see the view of forth the the sea. They worked through the questions with me in a similar bemused frame of mind, and took the thank you card with an earnest desire to look up the results. I really hope they did.

As I was descending the hill, I received a text from the operator, and immediately started listening to the third Canto, this time alone. That feeling of vulnerability crept up on me again – the operator knew my hometown (I couldn’t remember telling him that) and said he could make things very difficult for me. The poem worked on my paranoia about how much information I share on the internet (Penfold is always warning me about this) and seemed darker and slightly menacing. I cut it off before the end, thinking I would listen when I was in a slightly different frame of mind – I didn’t want to lose the sense of serenity that the view and my lovely conversation with strangers had instilled in me.

ENDGAME

We arrived back at Forest Cafe jubilant to have made it into the exclusive circle of finishers. I called my answers in then and there, and when the operator asked me if I had any questions, I couldn’t help but enquire about whether he was a malign influence. I wanted to know where I stood, and whether the incongruous tone of the operator with the act of meeting and transacting with strangers was real or imagined.

I spent the next few days occupied with leaving Edinburgh and trying to ease back into familiar patterns at home, but I was constantly aware that I was still to hear from the operator. I wondered if he might have abandoned me for the late delivery of my final answers. I finally heard from him on a Tuesday morning, when I was at my desk. I slipped on my headphones and listened in straight away. The real voice, no longer mediated and electronic, was an incredible reward for my efforts – I was being spoken to, and looked out for (the student that looks like a deer). The pauses, the clutter of the background noise – it all combined to make it real: an authentic message, just for me, from the ultimate stranger; the one I would never meet.

As the recording came to a close, I wept silent tears: tears of pride, for my bravery and tenacity to complete something I would never have thought I could; tears of sadness for a beautiful thing coming to a close; tears of happiness for the simple joy of hearing another human reaching out and passing on the gift of language.

Bianca’s piece of the Hinterland can be accessed here. Hinterland was a Hide and Seek experience, conceived of by Alex Fleetwood, produced by Sarah Ellis and inscribed by Ross Sutherland. It was part of the Forest Fringe in Edinburgh in 2011.

It seems appropriate to write about this event whilst I'm still experiencing the strangely altered physical state induced by lack of sleep and intense stimulation.

For context (I want you to feel my exhaustion!) I got up at 5.30am on Friday morning and travelled to Cardiff for a day of talks organised by Play ARK at Chapter Arts Centre. My Friday night sleep was patchy and disturbed by drunk revellers in my budget hotel, but still I awoke at 7.30am and proceeded to navigate the Cardiff buses with my trolley suitcase and stuffed rucksack in the unseasonable heat of the October morning. A few hours of games preceeded another journey – this time to University – where I had a few unusual hours in the company of Freshers. So, I arrived at the Museum Collection Centre doubting my ability to stay awake until 5am.

There was quite a crowd of writers, artists and bloggers ready to stare the small hours in the eye, which was heartening and unexpected. Our workshop started in earnest with a guided tour of the centre – effectively a huge repository of Birmingham City Council's extensive collection of artefacts not currently on display. The warehouse is a spectacle in itself, with its joyfully haphazard juxtaposition of seemingly unrelated objects. In one aisle, a Giant Spider Crab in a glass case sat on a shelf above a carousel horse, nestled next to a bread slicing machine, opposite a wooden cabinet and near an ornate eagle-carved bracket, large enough to hold up shelves for giants. In hindsight, I wish I'd concentrated more on the unique opportunity to fabricate elaborate connections that could link these objects that found themselves proximate. Yet I wouldn't want to suggest it was all jumble sale – certain collections had definitely been curated – vintage cars, costume, archaic weapons – and the small collections room (where I found the object of my evening's attention) was themed throughout.

A instruction to select an object of focus and three carefully planned writing exercises followed, and before I knew it, we were less than an hour from our appointed hour of release. Tiredness had merely stood at the gates looking in, felt as a slight ache in my limbs, whilst my imagination was seized by a tiny hand-powered Singer sewing machine from the 1870s.

The adventure, however, didn't end at 5am. My companion and I were kindly offered a lift to New Street (one sure sign that the wokshop happened in the usually dead hours is my inability to remember anyone's name) along with a writer who would be catching my train north. Our surprise at the locked doors of the station became embarrassment as we realised our collective error in being unaware of both the scheduled opening of the station and of the time of the first train home. The station doors were home to a few loiterers – all but one clearly drunk. As we sat pondering our next move (with a reluctance to join the fray) one chap clumsily hoisted himself from his lolling position and tried to get the attention of a cleaning attendant, and his swaying body and clown-like gait induced the kind of giggles that only come after a sleepless night.
Our driver was our saviour, and she dropped us on campus, where we could spend the next three hours if not comfortable enough to sleep, at least warm and safe. After leaving halls to wait for a taxi, I spent the next ninety minutes continuing to share the adventure with my new companion, before she alighted the train at her stop. Despite (or because of) our sleep-deprived state, the conversation was memorable and fascinating. Once alone, I started to feel blessed – smiling at strangers, strangers smiling back… a peculiar exhaulted state that's hard to explain.

All in all, a remarkable night. The centre, worthy of the attention of a few hours of curiosity without doubt, had an exclusive allure and indefinable ambience at midnight. Exciting though the setting and the activities were, what really made it remarkable was that infectious sense of adventure that turns strangers into firm friends.
When he eventually flopped into bed as the birds commenced their dawn chorus, my friend described the event as one that would make a great story in the re-telling, and I think the satisfaction of not just experiencing something like that, but knowing how special it is, can carry anyone through sleeplessness.

The workshop was the first event of Birmingham Book Festival's 2011 programme.

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The Sisters Brothers by Patrick deWitt #manbookerprize

September 27, 2011 //

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